My pedagogy is radically different from ten or twelve years ago, but those “radical” changes happened incrementally, one semester at a time. There’s no greater recipe for chaos than unmooring oneself entirely from what one has known previously.īut some change that forces a reconsideration of what’s been done before strikes me as healthy for all involved. I’m not suggesting a sudden upending of every previous teaching method or approach. One of the most common complaints one hears about current students is their lack of resilience, which is why I think it’s extra important for instructors to model resilience within their courses by including some risk of failure in their own work.
As long as students don’t feel they are being experimented upon, but are instead co-investigators, I have experienced a lot of leeway to try something that may not work. In my experience, students are comfortable with the professor on a pedestal, but I’m not convinced they find it preferable. Later, as contingent faculty, I had freedom of the just-another-word-for-nothing-left-to-lose” variety where I worked safely under the radar. Early in my career, I was fortunate to be in a program that believed in teaching innovation. I am sympathetic to those in these situations. As with most of what ails higher education, I think these are a consequence of systems that contain perverse incentives and serve to alienate us from each other, rather than bring us together. Herckis’ findings at Carnegie Mellon is the suggestion of an adversarial nature between teachers and students. To me, the most distressing part of Prof. The policy or approach is mine, but they are allowed to move freely within those policies and even challenge the policy (as happened with the grading contract) when they believe I am not being true to my own intentions. I believe this helped to offload some of the responsibility for the ultimate fate of my “innovations” onto the students. I learned that if I was open with students I could take (calculated) risks in my pedagogy, like eliminating the attendance requirement and later, moving towards a grading contract. I started to put struggle and doubt closer to the center of my teaching and frequently shared my own difficulties writing, not merely from the past – as though they’re something we grow out of – but from the present as well. Or maybe not stupidity exactly, but at least frailty.
Your fear of looking stupid free#
Why should they want to become me when they could just be themselves?īy looking stupid (not on purpose) a couple of times and living to tell the tale, I began to see the benefits of admitting to stupidity up front and encouraging students to feel free to do the same. The longer I taught, the more I wrote, I began to see what I thought I knew about writing as teaching as inevitably provisional, subject to revision and correction in any moment. If they worked hard, played their cards right, they could become…me, or at least something like me.įairly quickly that too felt like a lie, a confidence game of a slightly different type, but a bluff nonetheless. If they just did what I told them to do, surely their writing would improve. Later, as I became more experienced and confident, the pendulum swung the other way, as my approach became increasingly prescriptive, declaring a path to enlightenment for students to follow. First it was the pressure of maintaining a façade of confidence and authority when I feared I had none. What I remember about this is the pressure.
In the beginning, having no other model to work from I put myself (as professor) at the center of the classroom experience. For that reason, early on I stuck to the script of the textbook, sometimes spending entire periods just reading it out loud to them, occasionally adding emphasis to particular sentences where it seemed appropriate. What if my submission was terrible, just shamefully bad? My hands would tremble beneath the seminar table, waiting for the first verdicts to come in.Īs a TA in grad school, I was terrified my students would out me as a fraud.
As a student, it was part and parcel of the writing workshops of both college and graduate school where my work was going to be the sole focus of everyone’s attention for an hour. It’s happened both as a student and an instructor. I sure do remember walking into a classroom consumed with the fear of looking stupid. In others, it may be a desire to appear smart. 1 challenge was to make sure that they were not an embarrassment to in front of students.”įor some, I can imagine that this manifests as a fear at looking stupid. Follow anthropologist Lauren Herckis tried to figure out why new teaching strategies developed at Carnegie Mellon were not being widely adopted, she found that one of the reasons instructors were hesitant was because their “No.
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